Conversations with dog
We humans are a verbal species, yet misunderstandings among us are common. We are often quick to blame others for not understanding. How easy it is, then, to blame dogs for misunderstanding when we try to communicate with them!
Some dogs are quite vocal, but they are not verbal. They can’t say “You make me nervous,” or acknowledge that they understand. Or can they?
Dogs and other canids have a complex array of gestures they use to communicate, ranging from appeasement to aggression. Each serves a very specific purpose. Norwegian dog trainer Turid Rugaas coined the term “calming signals” to describe the “language of peace” dogs use to avoid conflict (On Talking Terms With Dogs: Calming Signals, Dogwise Publishing, 2005). These signals can also be indicative of a dog’s level of stress, as they communicate things like “I’m a little nervous” or “I don’t want to cause trouble.” If we learn to recognize the subtle signals, we can avoid pressing dogs to “scream” at us with more recognizable signals such as growling and snapping.
The most common calming signals you are likely to see are lip licking, yawning, flicking the eyes away, and turning the head or body away from you. These often result from common human behaviors like reaching over a dog’s head, leaning over him, raising your voice, or too much physical contact. You can help your dog feel more relaxed by petting him under the chin or on the chest instead of on top of the head, standing beside a dog instead of facing him, and allowing a dog to approach rather than forcing yourself upon him. Learning to read dog body language can go a long way toward preventing conflict.
When dog training became popular after WWII, we were told that we had to give one- or two-syllable commands in an authoritative voice. “Sit” and “Stay” are useful to some extent, but many people developed the habit of nagging: “Sit. Sit! SIT!”
The shift in emphasis to “cues” in the positive dog-training movement offers opportunity for reinforcement when dogs understand. While the words used may be the same, the attitude behind them is not. Dogs are very adept at learning the significance of our sounds. You may have heard about the Border Collie that knew the names for more than 100 toys. I know your dog has at least one word that will jolt him out of a dead sleep. But are they capable of understand sentences?
I met a trainer once who asked me to try just talking to my dogs in a more natural way. It felt really strange at first, but my dogs rewarded my efforts by responding appropriately. Why? My theory is that in saying thoughts out loud, we form a mental picture that perhaps helps dogs to “see” what we are thinking.
Now I encourage people to explain things to their dogs as much as possible. For example, “That’s Bob, putting out his trash can,” “The neighbors next door are having a party,” “I’m going to wipe your face with this wet cloth to clean off the slobber.” We have a tendency to tell our dogs meaningless stuff, like “It’s okay,” or repeat cues mindlessly. I’ve found the habit of “name and explain” to be especially helpful at the vet’s office. I introduce my dog to the staff, have them show him any equipment they plan to use, and tell him what will happen and what he needs to do. This allows us all to be much calmer and more relaxed.
I encourage you to collect your own data, and try listening with your eyes for signals your dog is sending. Try being clearer with your words and giving your dog more information. This will likely lead to better communication between you both.
Cricket Mara operates a dog behavior consulting practice in Corrales called Pawsitive Dog.